Yuppy Bitch

Yuppy Scum! Originally uploaded by Magillicuddy

I think I am turning into one.

I started being suspicious of myself this one time, where else, in Starbucks. I had been waiting for five whole minutes for my drink, had seen people come into the door, order, receive their drinks, pour chocolate in top of their cappuccinos, pour coffee out to make space for more chocolate and I was still waiting. I was unable to convince anyone that they had forgotten to put in my order and I was angry, late for work, alternatively sweating in my coat, freezing when the door opened and carrying too many bags. You know that face very important, older, grumpy, pant suit wearing, pumps clad ladies made when they step in dog poop? The face gin and tonic drinking business travelers make when a dirty family of nine sits next to them: mouth turned downward, face turned into a mask. The look often comes coupled with a scanning of the room in order to find accomplice and rolling of eye in the direction of accomplice once accomplice has been found.

I was making that face.

I am only two years removed from thinking a Frappuccino is a luxury, three years removed from working at the equivalent of Starbucks, four years removed from thinking myself an anarchist and if my right brain excuse keeps going, I might very well be grateful in a year from now to be working at there again. Must remember that I am a nice person, the kind of person who smiles at people, the person who looks up when walking, the person who holds the door open even for those frowning pant suit bitches, the person who is amazed that anyone can remember the insane combinations of extra skinny, non fat, super foam, double shot, especially hot, triple sweet coffee options and would never in a million years put on the time-is-money-and-my-time-is-so-expensive-you-better-crank-out-that-coffee-asap-bitch face.

If I don't mend my ways now, I might end up with a face that is stuck in meanness mode even on a friendly day when the coffee was served hot and skinny and at the speed of light.