When I asked a former roommate of mine whether she could see me being a pony girl and she answered that in fact she could, I was excited. Apparently she envisioned me with ugly braids, braces, a true English school girl uniform, attending fox hunting events, brushing polo ponies and being all around spoilt and awful, but I took it as a compliment.
I still don't understand how she could say such a mean thing, but I am able to see past the incident and that's because I love ponies. Yep, love them so much, that I considered the word pony an adjective for a while, used when describing other particularly cute animals, such as a pony kitty, which in turn gave me a great idea for a porn name. If you ever sneak into the X rated section of netflix and see something starring pony kitty, you know it's me.
So yesterday was particularly special on the pony front. We went to the Olympia horse show, newly acquired husband in tow, and I was glad to see that the pony girl front is going strong even without me. Masses of butch looking trainers/mothers with twenty girls in mostly pink around them, the matriarchs voice coarse from yelling at kids and dogs over the last decades and chain smoking in the cold, faces weathered. I won't lie - as they put up some big fences in the arena and all those little skinny girl riders won their pretty ribbons, I was itching to be one of them, just one more time. That desire was somewhat subdued by a conversation newly acquired husband overheard at the ham and booze stand (only at horse shows!).
guy 1: So, lots of girl, around here, eh?
guy2: yep
guy 1: Any of them fit?
guy 2: No
A look around for confirmation and he was right. Also of course he said this before Swedish girl, who accompanied me and myself showed up.
Advice to men: If you are able to see past the unfit part and if you can tune out really well while someone talks A LOT about saddles and stirrups (yes) and cantering, being a boy in horseland might hold some potential. Where else is the gender ratio 99:1 in your favour and where else do tight riding outfits reveal all you need to know when choosing a mate? Did I mention you have to like the smell of horse poop? Opps, I didn't. Yeah, I guess that explains why men are just not going for it despite the odds. That and the butch thing.
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3 comments:
(i realized my last comment had some identifying info... edit) married life is creating some fantastic adventures for the mister! the most important question, does new husband think you're a pony girl?
He says yes, but I don't think he has any idea what I am talking about given that he is currently humming non sensical stuff in the corner while beating his head against the side bar of the couch. That's normal married life behaviour, right?
Identifying info about you are me? Either way, the answer is YES, his horizons are being broadened.
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