Beasts Unrestrained

, originally uploaded by Christiane B.

Anything is possible in India and you only have to learn to play the game and know when to grin and say "bite me". You arrive in a town, any town and amazingly you will end up with the "most best and most honest and most fast and most good English speaking" rickshaw driver every time. He might be so much good that he even has a little travel journal where he has asked other travelers to underwrite his general goodness in every language, thus you feel refreshed and happy you found the one man on the block you can trust. If you don't pay attention he will drive you straight to his friends gem shop without batting an eyelash and later explain how he is not ripping you off, he is only showing you options, you decide what to buy, what to eat and what to do. He will be outraged that you hold him responsible in any way and he will say "if anything one my part not good, I appologize (and now give me my tip mothefuckers)", his voice will become lamenting like a widows and he will add something about him not being your babysitter, him just showing you good place, good price, saving you much money. Ha.

However, you can also make him into your personal bitch for everything. Certainly use him as a tour guide, make him find you an internet cafe, make him wait, then make him drive you to a palace for some touristing, then make him find you a place to buy mangos, a place for flip flops, make him wait while you have lunch and make him store your bags at his friends hotel for some easy frolicking around the city before re-boarding a train to somewhere. The reason for our trust on the latter is that we have too much shit so in a "let-kharma decide" moment we figured, if it all gets stolen minus passport and my porsche camera, at least we don't have to carry it anymore. I don't want to loose all my bangles and dirty tank tops but it would be a bit of a relief! And it turned out nobody wanted my bangles or my dirty tank tops so we are stil loaded high. In the end you pay him five dollars and that was probably double what his servics were worth, but who cares.

Our current location by the way is desert town Udaipur, Rajasthan. The town is prominantly featued in the slightly outdated James Bond film: Octopussy, which, for good measure, we re-watched last night. James Bond was so much better when sexism was less taboo. Unfortunately our abode is less glamorous and our autorickshaw drivers are less skilled than James'.

Now onto the beasts. All beasts in India are living unrestrained lives. Goats and cows obviously roam freely. Cows due to their holy status even sleep in the middle of the highway and won't budge and traffic swerves around them. Cows trampel through shops because they can whereas dogs get kicked if they only approach a puddle of dirty water in the proximity of a shop. Donkeys are hereded along the road without reins, without any way to realistically lead them to where they are destind to be going, yet they do seem to end up where they are supposed to go. Yesterday I even saw the biggest elephant I have ever seen gently waddle down the small road wearing no head piece, making all traffic come to a halt while perched atop her was a little man with tiny bamboos stick and nothing else to make her stop or go.

There must be something about the laws of chaos that allow the beasts in India to be themselves. And so newly acquired husband and I shall be on the loose.