Freemale

There was a piece in a Sunday paper that gave the label spinster a new twist: the twist of freedom. It turns out that a woman who possesses everything a man has ever wanted, say education, skill and determination to succeed, can,  despite her nearing her late 20s or *gasp* 30s, be OK. That's right. She may actually take a break from her sleepless nights agonizing over her singleness and be ok. Yes, just like that. There you have it. New research shows. She might even like it. This is when a spinster turns freemale. 

Let me say that I did not actually read this article, I just heard about it.  In any case the champagne fueled discussion with two highly successful and as far as a casual observation can tell, ok-seeming single female friends of mine got me all upset that I could not be both a freemale and married. The way being a freemale was described was so decidedly what I think any girl strives to be: happy, independent, successful, oozing rock 'n roll. Does anyone not want that? My ok-seeming spinster friends now upgraded to freemales were not at all thrilled about their new label. Why, they argued, is it necessary to point out that a single girl can actually be happy and enjoy her life? Why is that even newsworthy? There are no articles written about males approaching their 30s, unmarried, rich, successful, happy AND better yet, ok. It seems obvious they would be ok. 

Looking at the article from that perspective I get their negative reaction. I guess my first reaction is similar: why categorize a woman by her relationship status at all. I mean is the next big insight that women in relationships also can be happy about their life outside their relationship? Or is that obvious, because after all they are in a relationship, so why would they not be ok? Can one separate their ok-ness that is due to being a successful, independent individual and their ok-ness due to being a married woman? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am being a bit self-righteous here. Sometimes it is really tough. I mean, am I happy right now that I get to go to India in a month or am I happy that I am a married girl whose husband will carry her large ass backpack all through India in a month? I just don't know. 

I did learn from the primate studying freemale that unmarried folks die earlier than married folks but we were unable to determine if that is due to some great emotional strength acquired during marriage or if it's simply due to the fact that someone else is around to dial 911 during your first heart attack. So on that note I am happy that newly acquired husband will be in India with me to open and close the window of whatever topsy turvey bus I may have to learn out of after ingesting whatever food makes one sick in India. I hear the options are plentiful.