I have in the past spoken about the amazing
phenomena that is German vacationing behaviour, best observed in Mallorca or along the Adriatic coast lines. Here, in Koah Lak, Thailand, I was able to see the finest, proudest and most blatant display of this vacationing trademark. The fucking towels on the fucking beach chairs at 6 am. Why?
We arrived in a parent friendly and us friendly resort north of Phuket when there was not a soul in sight. Sun chairs littered the abandoned beaches, speedos were a rare sight, soft boiled eggs stayed behind at the breakfast buffet. Then the Germans came. A lot of them. And some Finns too. And I do think they deserve their soft boiled eggs piled high on their breakfast plates and I will not deny a man his right to choose a white or yellow speedo of the "banana hammock" cut and style but the beach chairs. Puhleeeeaaase. One morning, shortly after the towel cart opened, fancy and I were strolling along the lovely, sandy, white beach (so much better than the beach chairs!) being happy campers when it occurred to me to take a rest and sit on one of those fabled chairs after all. Not a soul was in sight and so I figured what I nice moment to gaze out upon the ocean and be luxurious. Except there was not a beach chair available. Oh yes, there are about forty of them lined up throughout the resort, in little coves and hidden under palm trees, but upon careful inspection I realized there was not one that did not have a carefully placed towel on top of it. We walked by a row of forty beach chairs, all toweled down with the same purple hotel beach towel. The owners were still piling soft boiled eggs onto breakfast plates and were not to be seen. How I wonder do they know which one is theirs? Who I wonder had to get up early and strategically place these? Is it the youngest child? The eldest? What I wondered would happen if I moved one?
I saw, without having to lift a finger, the anger this imprudent action would inspire. A few hours later, a white speedoed, bulldog faced fat bellied German family man (mini bulldog in a blue speedo watching intently) was directing some Thai guys to carry beach chairs clear across the resort in order to replace one that apparently had been stolen from him. It was not my doing. Yet watching him command these poor guys around I lost my taste to try to trick the Germans. You can't beat them, you have to join them?
Or you can just sit in the lush white sand and drink mojitos. I think I can! Pictures to follow.
Today is the four year anniversary of the tsunami and people in the resort have put down postcards and flowers for the people who died in the area (5000!). To think that the turquoise bay could part and send huge waves into our bungalows is hard to imagine. I guess it's always luck to be at the right place at the right time or not to be there.